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 Do You and Your Spouse Have Irreconcilable Differences and Contemplate Divorce?
- Do you want to avoid the emotional stress and trauma of adversarial proceedings?
- Do you and your spouse want to save money for constructive purposes, such as higher education for your children?
- Do you want to minimize the emotional distress that children experience when their parents divorce?
Some couples realize after much painful soul searching that they have irreconcilable differences.
They want a low conflict divorce at the least expense. They have a good idea of how their assets can be divided and they want to cooperate in co-parenting their children to adulthood.
Divorce Mediation is:
- rational negotiation of the issues involved in dissolving a marriage;
- structured so that one spouse does not win at the expense of the other;
- resulting in a mutually beneficial separation agreement;
- at much less cost that adversarial proceedings; and
- that is least stressful for children.
Role of the Mediator
I take an active role helping the couple identify the issues that need to be covered in a separation agreement including:
- How to negotiate a workable and fair parenting plan.
- Understanding how the Connecticut Child Support Guidelines apply.
- Whether or not to file for an Educational Support Order.
- How to identify marital assets, determine their value
and divide them equitably.
- The amount and duration of spousal support.
Mediation Costs Less
It is much less expensive to mediate a settlement agreement than to pursue an adversarial divorce. Establishing separate households is costly, couples want to conserve their assets for the benefit of their children and themselves.
Mediation is Better for Children
Parents want the best for their children during and after a divorce. Children experience less distress when divorcing parents negotiate reasonable solutions rather than engage in polarizing conflict.
Mediation minimizes the painful win/lose atmosphere of adversarial proceedings. It models a reasonable problem solving process that will be extremely valuable in the future as the couple co-parents their children into adulthood.
How Long Does It Take to Get a Mediated Divorce?
A mediated divorce takes less time than an adversarial divorce. Connecticut has a mandatory three month waiting period from filing the complaint to the hearing date. This is usually adequate time to mediate the settlement agreement and prepare for the hearing. The court will extend the hearing date if more time is needed.
Will I Need an Attorney?
I prepare the parties to go through the process as a “pro se” plaintiff and “pro se” defendant. The mediator does not act as an attorney for either party. The end result of mediation is a separation agreement. I advise each party to review the settlement with an attorney for fairness before it is finalized.
In summary, Divorce Mediation is:
- Non-adversarial – divorce is painful enough without creating an adversarial contest.
- Mutual – the solution to each issue must be agreed upon by both parties.
- Empowering – you control a very important life decision, not lawyers or a court.
- Best for children – a low conflict divorce is best for children and sets the stage for cooperative co-parenting after the divorce.
Call me at 860-424-1051 to learn more about mediation.
Or send me an e-mail:
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Afternoon and evening office hours are available.
Note: I do not provide divorce mediation services to present or former therapy clients.
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